Pt. 1

That’s funny… The last thing I wrote here was, “…back to our regularly scheduled programming.” I guess the TV went blank after that. Well, we’re back, and we’re going to be completely random and sometimes weird, so hang on. What I wrote below could be just the beginning of something. Or it could be last thing to ever appear on this blog. Or I’ll post it here and then never make mention of it ever again. But what the hell?

You wake up spread-eagled in the middle of a freeway with a large orange cone protruding between your splayed legs. You have no recollection of how you got there. Nor do you have the sense to get up and move out of the road. Luckily, there are no cars. No sounds except for the high-pitched buzz of various insects. It’s hot, and as you let your head settle back onto the asphalt it feels as if there is a little give–it has softened in the heat of the day and now has the texture of well-chewed bubble-gum.

It’s dark except for the stars above which you can see clearly. The moon hasn’t risen, or maybe it’s already passed over. Maybe it’s new moon. You have no idea. What day is it? What month? It’s hot, so it must be summertime. Deciding it’s time to assess the situation more thoroughly, you push yourself up to sit with one hand, face coming within inches of the orange cone, your eyes focused directly on the white reflective stripes near the top. Odd, that, having a cone between your legs. You scoot your butt back on the road, heels of your cowboy boots dragging along in front of you until you’re a few feet away from the cone. Your head hurts. Reaching up, you touch the back of your scalp then run your hand forward through your hair, feeling for the cause of the pain, but there aren’t any bumps.

Letting your hand fall, you look around. You’re in the middle of four lanes, all with white-dashed lines between them, so it must be an eight-laner. But where are the cars? There are no lights coming or going anywhere you can see, and the only light you can see aside from the star is a faint amber glow on the horizon to your right, the direction the road seems to be heading.